A Day of Joy and Sadness

Yesterday was a strange day for me.

It was my beautiful daughter's 19th birthday. It was a happy occasion. She started school yesterday so we celebrated with her on Sunday evening. We had most of the Gifford clan here and of course the only Utah Stratton. It was a nice evening we ate well and enjoyed being together. Raylee left to go back to school tired but happy.

My children's birthdays are always a day of reflection for me. How can it have gone that quickly..what happened to the little red faced baby I held in my arms...are they where they should be for their age..all that Mom kind of stuff. This one was largely the same. I thought of so many special times with my girl, of some of the rough times she has had and so many other memories. She fills my heart with joy. We are so proud of the good choices she is making in her life. Although she was reluctant to be an adult she is doing fantastically at it so far. I both love and like her immensely. So in many ways it was a happy occasion.

Here's the part where I get weird. It occurred to me that if she were a boy that we would be getting ready to say goodbye to her for two long years. Wow am I glad (again) that my first child was a girl because I am SO not ready for a child to leave on a mission yet. Of course I'm not sure that I will be ready three years from now either. But a girl can hope. So I spent part of the day thinking about how much I would miss her if..how much I will miss Logan when he goes and other sad such thoughts. I spent a good portion of the day fighting back tears as I realized how quickly our time with these amazing children we have been trusted with is going.

In the end though the joy outweighed the sorrow and I celebrated that I am lucky enough to know Raylee and especially that I have had the honor for the last 19 years of being her Mom. Happy Birthday Rooster I hope it was great!